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Gail

Role reversal

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Gail

Have you experienced the weirdness of role reversal yet?

This is where either you begin to take care of your parents or hand over the reins somehow to your children.

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Gail

I must admit that my daughter has once taken over my clothes closet and threw out the things I could not bear to part with.

:(

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Gail

HEY GAIL

SO did you have to buy new items????

Yes, I did but she came with me. People really like the things that she picks out for me so now I don't dare go out clothes shopping without her.

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Jeannieb43

Have you experienced the weirdness of role reversal yet?

This is where either you begin to take care of your parents or hand over the reins somehow to your children.

Hmmmmm.... Strange you should ask.

My daughter is now actively campaigning for me to sell my house and move to a smaller one, nearer to her and her family--and one which is all on one level. She even comes and helps me sort out things from my 40-year-old collections (in the closets, that is) to give away to charity--getting prepared for a move.

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nuff sed

After three years of trying, on Easter Sunday, my wife and I moved my 97-yr.old mother to our house despite her objections. She had fallen three times in three weeks though she won't admit it. She stays in bed most of the time because she "wants to".. It is like reckoning with a small child to get her to eat anything. It means that one of us will have to be in the house at all times from now on.

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timewarp

I told my folks (pushing 80) to really enjoy their stuff, 'cause if I am to deal with it when they can't.... Let's just say I have a match.

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Jeannieb43

After three years of trying, on Easter Sunday, my wife and I moved my 97-yr.old mother to our house despite her objections. She had fallen three times in three weeks though she won't admit it. She stays in bed most of the time because she "wants to".. It is like reckoning with a small child to get her to eat anything. It means that one of us will have to be in the house at all times from now on.

You're brave to take on the caregiver role. But I guess it's easier to be a caregiver on-site than at a distance. Your mother is 97?? Wow! I have an aunt [father's sister] who is 97. It's really wonderful that they can live so long.

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LynnDel

Role reversal? Yup, currently as a person in the "sandwich generation," having a generation both above and below me, I've parented my parents on occasion, and have been parented by my children on occasion -- such as the time when driving with my daughter, and in the midst of conversation, I swear that red light in the middle of town looked like a stop sign to me, and I cruised on through after stopping and looking both ways. She chastised me. It's an odd feeling. She also gives me dating advice. That feeling is even odder (sorry, I like that word, even though it's frowned upon for its ungrammaticability).

LynnDel

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Gail

Bless you, those of you who have the time, means, and courage to take on the care of your aged parent. Any parent going through the trauma of adjusting to old age HAS to be thankful that they can do it with caring family members.

It reminds me of Puddles' prayer request about the lady who is caring for her mother and has no support from her other siblings... we need to remember that situation in prayer.

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Nan

I have promised one of my sons to move in with him when I am old and crabby....my own mother decided she

loved us all, could not live with any of us, so took herself off to a retirement home when my father died.

She was too frail (arthritis) to live alone although her other faculties remained clear.

We are blessed if we live in a situation where a choice is possible. I do admire those who do as Gail says.

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Jeannieb43

Nan, you're fortunate to have a son who wants you to move in with him when you're no longer able to care for yourself. That's quite a labor-intensive job.

I personally hope not to have to live with my children when I'm old and feeble. Not that I wouldn't love to be close to my children, but it's their spouses who might not appreciate me [though they haven't said such things]. But time will tell....

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Nan

Jeannie, that is just a 'threat' :) though he has said he would. I think I would choose the

home option if things came to that, having some 'own' space is quite important.

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Gail

I've strongly hinted at my son that a room in the attic for me, with a window with enough light to paint by would suit me just fine :) I wouldn't bother anyone, I promise!! :)

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Nan

Just make sure you are flexible enough to keep going up and down those stairs, Gail :)

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Jeannieb43

Yes. Going up and down stairs is getting to be more difficult these days. Wow! I can't believe I'm really getting "old"... but someday I'm going to have to face up to that fact.

But for now, still living in my split-level home. Six or seven steps up, or down, wherever I go.

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