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wwonka

How long for a new relationship?

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wwonka

Hello,

I was wondering how long do you consider a decent time to start meeting somebody after a break up? Or at least, to start looking for someone...

Excuse my English.

Thanks to all.

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Gail

I think the general advice is two years, but I say, Why not enjoy your singleness to the fullest while you have it?

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wwonka
2 minutes ago, Gail said:

I think the general advice is two years, but I say, Why not enjoy your singleness to the fullest while you have it?

Even though it was not a marriage? I thought two years were too much.

Thanks.

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rudywoofs (Pam)

Given that it wasn't a marriage relationship, I think two *years* is way too long.  I'd say, more like a month (more or less), but it all depends on what issues you might need to work through after the break-up, and if there's any notion of reconnecting with the other party.

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Liz

Are you asking for yourself, or do you have your eye on some young lady who has just recently ended things? If it's for yourself, then do what you feel comfortable with, if you have issues work on them, like Pam suggests. If however, it's the latter then wait for her, it will go badly for you, if you try and force someone else to hurry up and get over a relationship.

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dgrimm60

WWONKA

i  would  say  wait  about  1 or 2  months   but in  that  time    invite the  person  to  group  socials   to  let  both of  you 

get  to  know  each  other  better  and  both  feel  comfortable  with  each  other

dgrimm60

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Aubrey

I think the rule of thumb in psychology circles is to divide the length of your previous relationship by two, and then wait that long. Example: If your last relationship was 6 years, wait 3 years. If it was only 4 months, wait 2 months. At any rate, it's entirely up to you! If you have found someone special, spend time with that person as soon as you can! You can take every relationship slowly.

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wwonka
1 hour ago, Aubrey said:

I think the rule of thumb in psychology circles is to divide the length of your previous relationship by two, and then wait that long.

That would make 1.5 years, which I think is too long.

Thank you much.

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Aliensanctuary

I would say, after all of that wasted time, to start over tomorrow. If my wife divorced me or passed away, I would start looking for someone else without delay. Without a spouse it would be a lonely existence, having no one to share life with. Hopefully, one can find someone willing to give as much as they get.

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GayatfootofCross
25 minutes ago, Aliensanctuary said:

I would say, after all of that wasted time, to start over tomorrow. If my wife divorced me or passed away, I would start looking for someone else without delay. Without a spouse it would be a lonely existence, having no one to share life with. Hopefully, one can find someone willing to give as much as they get.

 

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Charity

Very interesting question.  Are "non-marital" relationships treated / measured differently than "marital" relationships? And. How do you measure the quality of any relationship?  A loss - regardless of how - divorce, breakup, death - is still a loss.  Isn't the grieving process the same.  Especially if we "loved" that person.  So. Maybe a relevant question would be.  "How much did you love that person?"

All that being said, I believe that our relationship with God will help us decide how long to wait to start another relationship - in all cases.  Pray.  Ask God's direction.  And wait.  Trust Hum to tell you when to begin a new one.  Depending on your relationship with God. You will know when He directs you to start again.  I know Him well enough to know that when He wants me to start a new relationship He will let me know without a doubt.  I trust Him.  While waiting.  I enjoy my time with Him; all the experiences;watching Him change me;acknowledging His presence in my life.  I've discovered how amazing He is; how much He loves me, and that He is God all by Himself.  That knowledge humbles me and makes me simply hide myself in the wonder of Him - knowing that all things He has planned for me work for my good.   

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wwonka
On 7/9/2016 at 8:28 PM, Charity said:

Very interesting question.  Are "non-marital" relationships treated / measured differently than "marital" relationships? And. How do you measure the quality of any relationship?  A loss - regardless of how - divorce, breakup, death - is still a loss.  Isn't the grieving process the same.  Especially if we "loved" that person.  So. Maybe a relevant question would be.  "How much did you love that person?"

All that being said, I believe that our relationship with God will help us decide how long to wait to start another relationship - in all cases.  Pray.  Ask God's direction.  And wait.  Trust Hum to tell you when to begin a new one.  Depending on your relationship with God. You will know when He directs you to start again.  I know Him well enough to know that when He wants me to start a new relationship He will let me know without a doubt.  I trust Him.  While waiting.  I enjoy my time with Him; all the experiences;watching Him change me;acknowledging His presence in my life.  I've discovered how amazing He is; how much He loves me, and that He is God all by Himself.  That knowledge humbles me and makes me simply hide myself in the wonder of Him - knowing that all things He has planned for me work for my good.   

Excelent!! Gracias.

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Unchained

The important thing to ask yourself after coming out of a long relationship, isn’t “when can I start dating again?”, but “why did our relationship come to an end?”

Self-reflection and a determination to let God be in charge of our lives is the key here.

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Guest Lochiel

One could start by asking "Why was I in a relationship? - Did God call me to that, or was it my own idea? - Did I honor God?"

Most serious relationships will have a bearing upon our eternal destiny - relationships with our parents, our education, friends, work, spouse. Some of these are chosen for us, others we choose ourselves. Since God prohibits His people from being unequally yoked with unbelievers, one must be very sure of one's belief. Is it deep, strong, enduring? Is it Bible based?

"Have I studied carefully, am I prepared for Christ's coming? Do I lead others closer to Christ? Am I fully in the faith (the Word), or have I one foot in the world?"

Those who have read EGW's counsel know that in her day God did not approve 1 marriage in 100, even 1 in 200. There's much guidance for social relations & courtship in Adventist Home, Messages to Young People and The Ministry of Healing.

Our most important relationship is to Jesus Christ, by whom we have access to God the Father, the Ancient of Days. If fully subject to God, we cannot go astray. Adam chose his own route, Jesus came to demonstrate a better way. "Not my will, but Thy Will be done."

Many pastors condone divorce and remarriage, even practice it themselves, perhaps not having been properly prepared.                           Do we want that experience, or something better? What does God seek for us? Marriage is designed to demonstrate the union of Christ with His Bride to a hurting world. We are called to be a peculiar people who have come out of the world, not as a burden to us, but as stars shining to the honor and glory of Him who loved us, and gave Himself for us. The world is nothing, God's way is everything.

 

 

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