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BlessedMan

My Wife Died: I Did What God Asked

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BlessedMan

[she just died in my arms] 😥

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"At even my wife died; and I did in the morning as I was commanded." Ezekiel 24:18)

The light of the warm home fire went out. Darkness brooded over the face of every familiar, and precious thing. The trusted companion, and love of my life who had shared all of the changes of the ever-changing way, was taken from my side. The light of our sweet fellowship, and of our loving journey was suddenly extinguished as if by some mysterious, unseen hand stretched forth from the unknown.

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"I lost the desire of mine eyes."

I was alone. "At even, my wife died; and...in the morning...

"But what about that next morning, when the light broke almost obtrusively upon a world that had changed into a cemetery, containing only one grave? "In the morning; I did what I was commanded."

The command had been laid upon me in the days before my bereavement. Life in our little home has been a source of true inspirational fellowship, and loving companionship. In the evening times, after all of the many little things there were to do in a day;  we would both turn to our home, and being together, as the perfect comfort, and rejuvenation. Immersed in the sweet sanctities of married life, the romance never ended. No matter how sick she got. It just continued. We both found in our togetherness, the restoration and inspiration, that would prepare us for another day. But, today;

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"at even my wife died."

The home is no longer a refreshing bath, or a loving embrace, or a lovingly cooked meal. And the hard, dusty road travelled each day will lead no more to an oasis; but rather to a roiling continuance of the wilderness.

But, what of the prophet's command here?

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"At even, my wife died; and in the morning - the commandment?"  

How does the old duty appear in the gloom of my bereavement? Duty, still clamant and insistent, now absorbed into the shadows; as it became loud and importunate in the light. What now shall I do? Take up the old burden, and faithfully trudge the old road? Impossible. Go out into the loneliness, and try to go on with the old tasks? But why?

Perhaps I will find the secret of that little bit of light at the end of this chapter, from Ezekiel 24?

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"Thou shalt be a sign unto them; and they shall know that I am of The Lord."

Being broken-hearted doesnt have to be the end of the story. Perhaps going back to some of the old duties; and by the manner of so doing, others will be compelled to believe in Jesus too? Is that the secret motive in the "dark night of the soul?"

Our wonderful Lord wants our conspicuous crises to be opportunities of testimony; our seasons of darkness should afford some sort of unveiling of The Divine. Jesus wants duty to shine more resplendently, because of the environing shadows of grieving;

Jesus only wants my tribulation to assist in "letting my Light shine." And I WILL let it shine tomorrow.

Isnt that why Paul says:

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Rom 8:15  For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Rom 8:28  "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

 

Jesus wants to manifest the sweet grace of continuance; of searching for the little bit of light and opportunity amid all of the sudden and saddening upheavals of this stormy life. This was Ezekiel's triumph; and that leaves me to wonder, can this be my opportunity too? Could I possibly make my calamity a witness to the eternal? Will I too be able to make my decrepit loneliness minister to our Lord? Is my grieving able to intensify my calling to go beyond this insistent hour of grief?

Sure; I can take up the old task. And in taking it up; it can be glorified...as I "choose this day whom I will serve..."

"At even, my wife died. And in the morning I will do what God tells me. The evening sorrow has come to me. How shall it be for me, once the funeral is over? That "joy that comes in the morning," (Psalms 30:5), for me will be the resurrection morning.

Truly, "weeping may endure for the night; but joy comes in the morning." (Psalms 30:5)

I will expect that special morning...that Light In The Clouds When Jesus gathers us all together, unto Himself on the resurrection morning. As long as the darkness lasts; I will expect that Light. I will wake up every day, expecting the light of Christ in the dark clouds. (1 Thes 4: 13-18) In the thick darkness, (Job 38:9) Jesus is there. Jesus comes near "in the thick darkness..."

I expect it. (Deut 4:11)

I cry...

Abba. Father....

_____________

"There is always a little light..."

 

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Joel Melashenko

I’m so sorry my friend - you have honoured your sweet wife and your God through this incredibly difficult journey.  May you feel His peace tonight, His sorrow, and His deep love for you both.

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BlessedMan

thank you. A caregiver just sent me a note, and part of it read:

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"you guys are a big part of my journey with God."

We can give it all to Jesus, no matter what.

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Act_4:13  Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.

 

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BlessedMan
21 hours ago, Joel Melashenko said:

I’m so sorry my friend - you have honoured your sweet wife and your God through this incredibly difficult journey.  May you feel His peace tonight, His sorrow, and His deep love for you both.

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Praying friends are what made this sometimes difficult journey possible.  Thank you for all your efforts on our behalf. I cant wait to hear all the conversations about this in heaven!

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dgrimm60

BLESSEDMAN

I am  sorry  for  your  lost=====my  prayer  is  that  GOD will comfort  you=====

remember  GOD THE  FATHER===GOD THE  SON===GOD THE  HOLY SPIRIT

ALL  understand your  lost  and  sorrow

dgrimm60

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Gail

All through your romance you foresaw this day and every day was precious. You made her life the most blessed it could be with the circumstance you were given. Love is the “greatest of these”.

❤️

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JoeMo

Blessed Man,

I send my deepest condolences to you.  May God console you with the peace and calm that only He can give.  I have every confidence that you and your beloved will be reunited in the Kingdom - sooner rather than later.  Blessings and peace be upon you!

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BlessedMan
6 minutes ago, JoeMo said:

Blessed Man,

I send my deepest condolences to you.  May God console you with the peace and calm that only He can give.  I have every confidence that you and your beloved will be reunited in the Kingdom - sooner rather than later.  Blessings and peace be upon you!

Thank you! The resurrection was something we talked about a lot. :)

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BlessedMan
18 minutes ago, Gail said:

All through your romance you foresaw this day and every day was precious. You made her life the most blessed it could be with the circumstance you were given. Love is the “greatest of these”.

❤️

Yes, We knew the whole time but that just gave more meaning to "making each day count" as much as possible. No matter how hard it got on some days, we always felt and experienced God's presence.

 

The last words she said to me was "I love you too..."

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BlessedMan

Im putting this here, because my wife's doctor was wonderful during the last difficult days:

Thank you to the incredible healthcare community! Voices Rock Medicine, our very own choir of women physicians has put together this heartfelt tribute, dedicated to the superheroes of Canadian healthcare, and beyond. Help us spread this message of gratitude and positivity during these challenging times! www.voicesrockcanada.com info@voicesrockcanada.com www.facebook.com/voicesrockcanada @VoicesRockCanada

 

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B/W Photodude
On 4/8/2020 at 11:57 AM, BlessedMan said:

Thank you! The resurrection was something we talked about a lot. :)

Sometimes we wonder why we are here after Jesus said He is coming quickly 2000 years ago. But to Him, even 2000 years is coming back quickly, since He has the framework of eternity to work in. Our short lives are over in a flash like the mayfly, but seem so long and He is still not here. But He will come back bringing His eternal life (Himself) with Him. But God said to the "souls under the alter" that they should wait (rest) a little longer. He is working for the perfect end of the great controversy for the entire universe. He is good for His word to make it happen. 

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BlessedMan
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He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." (Psalms 91:1).
abide in me (John 15:10)

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This past weekend, we laid my dear wife to rest, to await the resurrection, where we will see each other again.

I heard someone say recently that learning to live with the loss of a loved one is like learning to live with an amputation. We do heal; but we are never again the same. But on the other hand, IMO, knowing God has enabled me to discover a comfort from, and a closeness to God that many struggle to experience. God promises to walk with us "even through the valley of the shadow of death," (Psalms 23:4). And in consideration of this "shadow" "in the valley of death," we can be guided by the fact that there has to be a light to make that "shadow."

The hard choice for me is whether or not I am going to be angry for the time I didn't have with my wife, or whether I will rejoice and have gratitude for the time that I did have with her. I don't want to be angry. I want to heal. I want to see that light that made the shadow. Now, I just want to know what God expects of me as I enter this new chapter of my life. And I want to know how to help others who are going through similar things with grieving the loss of their loved one. There is likely much I don't know yet about grieving. But I can say now that I feel like a very rich man:

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"The blessing from the LORD makes a person rich, and he adds no sorrow to it."(Prov 10:22).

It is my belief that the great journey of grief was and is appointed to each of us to enable us to not only "survive," but to thrive, after the loss of our loved ones to the grave. I believe that I have graduated from "survivor," to "thriver." And while there is grief, there is no real, lasting sorrow. While no one's grief journey will be exactly the same as mine; it may be that there would be at least one or two similarities. Resilience seems to be something that God has built into each one of us. I am experiencing it every day. Sometimes it is revealed just by me standing in the forest and watching a Momma Sparrow feeding her young, or sometimes, it will be making a loaf of home made bread for a neighbour. But have you ever thought of resilience, in the form of us asking for help? Can we count this asking for help as "thriving?"

I see a lot of farms in the area where I live. The thought struck me how very resilient our farmers are. I honestly do not know how they get their crops in and then harvested in time. Some years it gets pretty challenging for them. If the weather is really bad, and they suddenly get some sunshine happening for a day, then all the neighbouring farmers will pitch in and help the one who hasn't gotten his crops in yet. They don't worry about getting paid. They just work together and help whoever needs it. This is one of the clearest examples of resilience, and thriving I can think of.

Spiritual Comments On Resilience. (Holding On).

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No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God — Luke 9:62

The Ploughman: A Symbol of the Person Who Holds On; Who Has Resilience.

Holding on to things doggedly,(or with faith), was one of the controlling thoughts of Jesus. That was why He singled out the ploughman in this text. Ploughmen are not always educated with degrees under their belts, nor are they often poets in disguise. But there is one virtue they all possess preeminently, and that is the virtue of resilience, or of quietly holding to it, no matter how rough the weather.

And it is because, in Jesus' eyes, that virtue is of supreme importance that He wants us to take the ploughman for our own, personal model. "If ye continue in my word," He says, "then are ye my disciples indeed" (John 8:31). Something more than receiving is required to reach the crown. To hold on when the sunshine vanishes, and there is nothing but clouds in the sky, just trusting that there IS a Light in or above, or beyond those clouds; that is the great secret of discipleship. And I would venture to say, also the key to peace in the heart, and even the key to world peace.

Jesus has borne my griefs, carried my sorrows. (Isa 53:4). For my own situation, when I feel like my own grief journey is faltering, that I am faltering; I know Jesus has already been there, and I just go where He has already been. For me, it all means I don't have to be strong. It means there is room at the Inn for me to be weak. I can be weak, yet still trust that there is that Light somewhere. I don't have to know or see. I just have to abide, or trust.

The Importance of Abiding at All Times

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John 15:4  Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me

We can see that with marvellous clarity when we meditate on this great word of "abide." That was one of the favourite words used by Jesus. With those deep-seeing eyes of His He has discerned the wonder of the grape vine-branch. The branch was there—abiding in the vine—not only in the sunny days of vintage.

It was there when shadows fell, and when the dawn was icy, and when the day was colourless and cloudy, and when the storm came sweeping down over the orchards. Through all kinds of weathers, through every change of temperature, through every tempest and through calm, the branch was there. Night did not sever that intimate relationship. Winter did not end that vital union. And our Lord recognized that, as in the world of nature this is the secret and the source of the fruit of resilience. And so is it also in the world of grace. To abide is not to trust merely. To abide is to CONTINUE trusting. It is to hold to it—and hold to Him—through summer and winter, through fair and stormy weather. Nothing could better show the Master's vision of the great and heavenly grace of resilience; or of holding to it, than His love for and practice of, that great word abide.

Jesus did something about my grief. Jesus went before me, and carried it all to Calvary. Jesus has already "carried my sorrows." Jesus has borne my grief. (Isa 53:4). All of it. Because He alone knows just what the trials and sorrows of the personal grief journey that many of us are embroiled in, and Jesus knew what it would be like for each of us personally. With the power of Jesus in our hearts and minds we shall never have to attempt a duty for which we are not strengthened, nor to front a danger from and in which He will not defend us. With His life in us we shall be ready for the long hours of uneventful, unexciting duties, and for the short spurts that make exacting calls on us. We ‘shall run and not be weary; we shall walk and not faint.’ (Isa 40:33). If we live in Jesus we shall always be in ‘a land of peace,’ and no ‘plague shall come nigh our dwelling.’

Even when the soles of our feet rest in the waters of Jordan, the waters of Jordan shall be cut off, and we shall pass over on dry ground into the land of peace, where they that would swallow us up shall be far away for ever. There are so many lessons for us in nature and scripture about "abiding," or "resilience." It would be hard to make a complete list of them all. For (just as Jesus does) we win our victories by holding to it. By abiding "under the shadow." We conquer, not in any brilliant fashion—we conquer, simply by continuing, and persevering. By "abiding under the shadow."

There are troublous times before us; the judgments of God are coming upon our world. The nations of the earth are to tremble. There will be trials and perplexities on every hand; men's hearts will fail them for fear. And what shall we do in that day? Though the earth shall reel to and fro like a drunkard, and be removed like a cottage, if we have made God our trust, He will deliver us. "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." "Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the Most High, thy habitation; there shall no evil befall thee. . . . For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways."  That is what is called resilience.

The presence of God includes every other blessing. Anyone who abides under the shadow of the Almighty can well say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust;" for of every such an one the Lord declares: "Because they have set their love upon me, therefore will I deliver them, I will set them on high, because they have known my name. They shall call upon me, and I will answer them: I will be with them in trouble; I will deliver them, and honour them. With long life will I satisfy them, and show them my salvation."

Jesus Was Right There: Where Is There?

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A certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was — Luke 10:33

The Lord Himself as a Good Samaritan

Our Lord, true poet that He was, had a great liking for pictorial teaching, and in all the pictures of His gallery none is more remarkable than this one. The scene, familiar to them ail; the robbery, an occurrence they all dreaded; the ecclesiastics whom they knew so well; the Samaritan, whom they all despised—these made a glowing vivid picture, which nobody but a master could have painted, and nobody but the Master ever did. It is a beautiful etching of benevolence, and as such it is immortal. But men have loved, right down the ages, to find in it something more than that. They have loved to find in this Samaritan a delineation of the Lord Himself, in His infinite compassion for mankind. Many thoughts come leaping to the mind when we set the story in the light of Christ. This Samaritan was long in coming. He had everything the man required (Luke 10:34). But there is another beautiful feature in his pity that is so eminently true of Christ that we do well to dwell on it a little.

As Did The Samaritan, so the Lord Came To Where He Was

Th best part of abiding here is that the Samaritan came just where the man was—came right up to him, and handled him, where he lay battered on the hedge-bank. When he saw, as he came down the hill, that in the hollow yonder there had been a struggle—when he saw that battered figure by the road, with the robbers probably in concealment, how naturally he might have halted till some Roman convoy had come up; but, says Jesus, he came just where he was. I feel sure our Lord intended that. Christ was unrivalled in suggestive phrase. The Priest saw him; the Levite looked at him; the Samaritan came right up where he was. How perfectly that exquisite touch applies to the Lord, who was the teller of the story, in His infinite compassion for mankind!

It Was Jesus Himself Who Came To "Right There."

Think for a moment of the Incarnation. Tell me, what was the Incarnation? It was the Son of God, seeing the need of man, and coming in infinite mercy where he was. Not speaking as by a trumpet from high heaven; not casting down a scroll out of eternity; not sending Gabriel or any of the angels to proclaim the loving fatherhood of God. No, this is the glory of the Incarnation, that when man was bruised and battered by his sin, Christ, the Son of God, the good Samaritan, came just where he was. He came to the inn, where the travellers were drinking; to the cottage, where the mother prayed; to the village, where the children romped; to the fields, where happy lovers wandered. He came to the marriage feast and to the funeral; to the crowded city and the sea; He came to the agony and to the cross. Show me where folk are lying ill at home, and I can show you Jesus there.

Show me where people are tempted of the devil, and I can show you Jesus there. Show me where hearts are crying out in darkness, "My God, why hast thou forsaken me?" and the beautiful and amazing thing is this—that I can show you Jesus there.

Where I have personally suffered grief at the death of my wife; and have suffered great sorrow, Jesus Christ has suffered; and He was there personally, all the time.  Where we  have toiled, Jesus Christ has toiled. Where we have wept, Jesus Christ has wept. Where we  have died, Jesus Christ has died. He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows, and made His grave with the wicked in His death. The good Samaritan has come. Just where we were/are.

Contrasted with John the Baptist

And when we follow the footsteps of the Lord, does not the same thing at once arrest us? Why, that is just what the people marked in Christ, when they contrasted Him with John the Baptist. If you wanted John, you had to search for John. You had to leave the city and go into the wilderness. And there, "far from the haunts of men," was John the Baptist, a solitary figure.

But Christ was genial, kindly, and accessible, a lover of the haunts of men, the friend of publicans and sinners. Simon Peter was busy with his nets, and Christ came where he was. Matthew was seated at the receipt of custom, and Christ came to him. The poor demoniac was in the graveyard, there to be exiled till he died, and the glorious thing about our good Samaritan is that He came exactly where he was. Where is that bright girl from Jairus' home? We have been missing her happy smile these days. Where is Lazarus? We used to see him daily. Is he ill? We never see him now.

Where are the spirits who were disobedient at the time the ark was a-preparing? I know not; I only know of each of them that Christ came where they were. Go to the penitent thief upon the cross, and tell him there is someone who can save him. Only he must come down, and leave the city, and fly to the wilderness and he will find him.

There are many who offer paradise on these terms when people are powerless and cannot move a finger; but Christ came where they were. That is exactly what He is doing still. "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." No one needs to fly away to find Him. The Word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth. "Just as I am," is a very gracious hymn: but I want someone to write me another hymn: "Just where I am, O Lamb of God, You come."

Living "under the shadow of The Almighty," it would seem that there is Light In The Clouds. Mercy's sweet voice peels through those clouds; and is still to be heard today by those who open their heart to Him. Won't you abide in Christ, today?

Psa 91:1  He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
God is a shelter, a refuge when we are afraid, when we are overcome with grief or sorrow, or the calamity of death or world turmoil. Our faith in God as protector will carry us through all the dangers and fears of life. This should be a picture of our trust in Christ — trading all our fears for faith in him, no matter how intense our emotions might get. To do this we must "live" and "rest" with him (Psalms 91:1). By entrusting ourselves to His protection and pledging our daily devotion to Jesus, we will be kept by His Love. In the very words of Christ are the Light in our clouds:

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Joh 15:10  If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. Joh 15:11  These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. Joh 15:12  This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Joh 15:13  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Joh 15:14  Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

Jesus promises to be right there where you are, "under the shadow..."

Edited by BlessedMan
grammar

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